The path of least resistance is hard

Nov 16

A few weeks ago I was drowning, and I want to share with you how I helped myself get back afloat. This will especially if you are finding yourself struggling to doggy paddle through the day to day waiting to arrive at a place where you can rest and take a breadth.

My family and I were in transition and going through a big shift in how our days would look and expectations we had for ourself one another. I had several new projects and clients starting and I was picking back up with my academic clients after a break.

At home, kiddo was starting a new school and that comes with a lot of emotions asking for more of my attention. I know I’m not the only one as many of my client sessions are about work-life-and “where is there time for me” balance.

Many of my clients are no stranger to hard-work, they are resourceful and can push through multiple hard things and make it look easy.

For people like you and me, it’s easy to work hard but hard to do the following:

Put self first
Slow down and Be unproductive
Have hard conversations - ask for what you want, set boundaries
Make changes
Be uncomfortable
Risk rejection
Sit with uncertainty

We calculate, if I do and act like this, I will get x result and avoid the things above, whether that is conscious or unconscious.

But what happens when it doesn’t work? What if you end up experiencing the things you didn’t want (which is very likely to happen) any ways?

When your worthiness is dependent on a certain outcome you put yourself in a hard place that leads to:

disappointment
resentment
unhappiness
feelings of I’m not enough

It takes courage to choose to slow down, put self first, be uncomfortable, uncertain and be responsible for yourself not just others.

But when you take your power back by activating the natural leader within, you choose authenticity, balance and being of true service.

It’s where responsibility can become the place of possibility where you get to honor yourself too.

So, here’s what I did to go from drowning to floating by embracing my inner Natural Leader who creates instead of controls.

Gave myself a reality check. When I accept that transitions or intense times are bumpy, especially at first, the anticipation anxiety lifts because I am not trying to make it what it’s not. The truth is we need to know choppy waters are part of the journey and learn how to ride the waves instead of hoping we are paddle boarding in a serene lake every time we go out on the water.

Took my power back by pausing. When my plate is super full, I find myself being super “on”—working harder and faster. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night going through my to-do list. This lets me know I don’t have enough down time and space in my calendar to process and prepare. I just realized this one and it’s why pausing is so powerful. Self-reflection leads to self-awareness and that’s the place you want to design your schedule from.

Shifted from Controlling to Creating. I was trying to win my time back by working harder to be everything to everyone and feeling very frustrated. But when I realized what I needed was space to process, prepare, and fill up my cup, I booked a solo night away in a neighboring town. I arranged for my family to be able to use the pool and hot tub for a couple of hours. That alleviated any guilt of being away from my family. When you take your power back (by knowing and accepting what you need) and looking for a both/and solution, you create new possibilities.

Prioritize Preparing Instead of Planning. Checking off to-do lists gives a false sense of relief that maybe you will have time for you. The truth is that the list will never be done and you won’t get to that elusive relief. But when you take time to prepare, you create a high-level plan that’s beyond just completing tasks. It’s a plan that includes YOU. It helps you prioritize your goals while still being responsible for the people and work you’ve committed to. That’s what my seasonal plan guided workbook supports you to do.

It’s one of the things I did during my pause, in addition to lots of hot tub time, coloring, watching TV, and eating take out.

What about you?

How can you take back your power and create new possibilities?