The Curse of Being Good

“Can we meet for coffee please? I wanted to send this message before the urge passed.”

And so we met.

A local mom friend and I.

She shared with me about how she was having the strangest thoughts and feelings.

How she felt so uninspired by her work.

There were days where she could barely get herself out of bed and other days where it was ok.

She started to have thoughts like “if I got sick than I wouldn’t have to go in.” But then there were moments in the day where she really enjoyed herself.

Unfortunately, she was good at her job.

Now you might be surprised by my last comment, but I’ve seen it over and over. …the curse of being good.

When things aren’t “so bad” and you are someone who can make the most out of any situation. It takes catastrophe to get you what you really need - rest, space, time, support, love.

I once heard this saying and it always stayed with me “you can change because you want to or you can change because it hurts so much, you have to.”

What if it didn’t have to get so bad?

What if you made changes in your life, just because you wanted to?

What if you didn’t need to justify your desires?

What if wanting to be more creative didn’t have to become a business?

What if taking a sabbatical or being spontaneous didn’t have to be earned?

I remember when I became a mom, I would say things like “organic food has been blended, diaper is changed, now I can go to yoga.”

I hadn’t realized that most of my life I believed I had to earn my joy, rest, support, freedom, etc.

What’s it for you?

It took me a long time to realize how disconnected from myself I was and how much of my life had just become one big to-do-list.

Honestly, I’ve kind of been feeling that way again.

When this feeling comes along, we tend to look outside and try to figure out what will make us feel alive again.

We look for big changes: new job, moving, improving our relationships, having another baby?

I did that for years and as I've started to feel that way again, I'm so grateful my friend reached out. I remembered the way back and here we are!

I always thought, when I have the degree or the house or the wedding then I will finally feel the connection and love I crave.

My whole life I relied on my intelligence and resourcefulness to make those things happen and I was good at it. I could reach goals and I could solve anyone’s problems.

I had the curse of being good and it kept me from fulfillment.

I’m so grateful that almost 10 years ago, I finally gave myself permission to actually receive some support. I learned that I was trying to rely on my smarts to figure out something that wasn’t out there.

Working with a coach helped me to feel, dream, desire, see possibility where my logical brain only saw barriers and couldn’t see the how.

My friend told me that she had an urge to volunteer at a flower shop.

I told her that two years ago, I had an urge to walk into an art gallery and two years later I’m a mural facilitator.

You can trust your urges.

The thing you fear the most, the unknown, is actually the thing that will make you feel alive.

The unknown is the mystery and there is a map but it’s not found in a 5 year plan, it’s in your heart.

If you want help finding access, I’m here to help.

My website is full of resources including blogs, interviews, and you can download a e-copy of my book for free or or order a hard copy. If you feel an urge to work with a coach, I do that too! Just visit this page right here.

It's okay to not want to spread yourself so thin anymore and do the things you really want and take time to focus on you, just because.